Case No. 38
Caffeinated Report:C-ASG01
"Deep in what hollow do the stern gods keep their bitter silence?"
Poetry Trivia | 1 Word
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-DIS
DATE: 09/02/95
EMPLOYEE #53
Well, someone's keeping busy. I was out last night, taking a walk to clear my head when I noticed in the rearview mirror of a nearby car some big, bright, glowing eyes. So it is pretty safe to say we are being watched. If I had to guess, I'd say it was Mrs. Pleasant from the Open Doors church. Then again, I didn't feel like looking into her eyes to find out. She's a real nasty customer, especially once you lock eyes with her. Not to mention she has a penchant for the unexpected. Ironically we need to keep an eye on her too. If she hangs around in an area too long, well, let's just say it'll be a disaster for sure.
Oh, right! We have newbies with us, huh? I'm sure you've been very diligent cafe workers and already done loads of studying up on our current clientele, but if you're out of the loop, let me just cover the basics of Mrs. Pleasant. Name says it all; she's practically famous in West Virginia. I'm sure you've heard by now but do not look in her eyes. Easier said than done, as one of her special little tricks is making you think she has more eyes than she really does. It's usually best just to cover your eyes and get out of there as soon as possible. Of course, I wouldn't recommend running as Pleasant is more flight than fight and is damn good at that too. Her chosen mode of transport can reach up to 60 mph. So, running just wastes your energy. Cover your eyes and get somewhere safe.
Well, wait, hang on, Shill, what happens if we look in her eyes? Well, then you get the pleasantry of having her sell you a nasty thick milkshake. Once you gaze into her eyes, it's all but impossible to refuse the allure of her special frozen treat. A milkshake sounds pretty good! However, I've heard a few sips, and you've got yourself extreme paranoia, fear, nausea, and suicidal thoughts for, oh, a few hours tops. So, let's not drink that milkshake, yeah? Heck, we're coffee people anyway. Good news is she can only really make so many milkshakes at once without having to restock her ingredients which are only found in Canada. If you can get her to serve you a milkshake but not drink it, that's the best way to deal with her. Of course, she's still fast, strong, and rather deadly. But without her eye-trick, you're more likely to survive a tango with her. Ah, that reminds me, tango. She doesn't dance, so don't expect anything from her in that regard. Now, Aka, she'll dance. But her dance card is pretty full at the moment.
In any case, just keep your eyes out, but down, for Mrs. Pleasant. She's lurking around Costa Mesa. Not sure if she's got her eyes on us or something else in the area, but that's pretty far from the Church. Could just be a "right place right time" thing, though. But I'm almost certain she gave me the once over. Might be worth snooping around that area just in case she is up to something more. Like I said, disasters are to be expected.
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-MOP
DATE: 09/03/95
EMPLOYEE #35
Uh, hi. This is my first report, or I guess receipt. The number that comes after 7 told us to feel free to write receipts whenever so... Here I am. Writing. Not that I don't have something to discuss! Of course. I'm just, huh, I'm noticing now that these are very stream of consciousness, huh? Very journal-esque. But like a journal you share with all your friends. Oops, sorry, I mean uh... associates? Right? ‘Cuz friends are... well, you all know it probably better than I do.
Anyway! Sorry for rambling. Bit nervous and not sure what I should or shouldn't say. I mean, I know what not to say in the diner. At least I think I know what not to say. Uh, anyway, I wanted to talk about Canada a bit. I guess I could put this in the Cafe, but I gotta learn how to talk the Diner talk at some point. So let's talk about Canada.
For those who don't know, but I assume you've been filled in on my whole "deal" before, I... get... uh... postcards. Yeah. Postcards from Canada. Sort of like how the Owner gets half of a postcard from Canada. Except I get the whole thing, but only when I want to. Well, I say when "I" want to, but it doesn't always feel like I have much control over it. You know, sometimes things get lost in the mail and take a while. I think it's easier for me to get postcards at places that sell them, like airports. In theory, though, I can get them just about anywhere. And sometimes, sometimes, I do get a postcard out of the blue. And that happened today when we took our company trip to the "graveyard."
Something about that place... it gave off big, uh, postcard energy. I feel like I'm doing a horrible job at this, haha. I didn't say anything while we were there because it didn't seem like a good time to say anything... I mean, when you're staring at the tombstone with your number on it, it's pretty heavy stuff. And I didn't want to interrupt the Owner or anything like that. But I got a postcard when I saw the tombstone. It was a postcard of somewhere very bright and sunny in Ottawa. Unfortunately, that's all I really know about it. Oh! And that there were a lot of feathers in the postcard.
I'm not totally sure I know what that means, but from what 44 tells me, it's probably something you'd be likely to see at 1 o'clock. If that makes sense. If it'd be okay, and if you think it's a good idea, maybe I should go back to the graveyard with my... uh, camera. To see if I can get a better picture of a new postcard? I figured I'd ask before going on my own because there are obviously some heavy memories tied up there for you guys, and I don't want to be disrespectful. Plus, with what the Owner said today about how dangerous it is to serve coffee and all that... well, I want to make sure I'm not doing something that could get me in trouble. You know? Well, I hope this was an okay first receipt. Sorry, it doesn't... uh, explain as much as yours usually do. But! Practice makes perfect!
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-BBVR
DATE: 09/04/95
EMPLOYEE #26
Howzit, dudes? We've had a returning customer fly in today. I'm sure you all remember Mr. Trigano? For the new kids, let's just say he's a very important guy, yeah? I'm sure you can connect those dots, or at least 44 should; he's a clever little dude. Oh, I guess it's probably not enough just to know who he is but what's his whole deal with us, yeah? Well, he first came into the Cafe at around 1' o'clock two years ago, so like '93. He needed help, and we helped him, and then he kinda stuck around for a bit. And we or I guess uh, I, started to get romantically involved with him. I know, not very professional to date customers, but something about him was just different. Hard to explain. Of course, dating long distances is hard sometimes, and things fell through. Not on great terms either due to, uh, well, I wouldn't worry about it none.
So! Now that all the old coffee is down the sink, let's get into the return of Mr. Trigano. He swooped in earlier this morning, just wanting to talk. I didn't think to turn on my CaDCom, and, you know, I probably wouldn't in this case. ‘Cuz of our history and all that. Ahah, well, he wasn't coming by to rekindle things I know that much. He's worried about Mrs. Pleasant. The two of them apparently go back quite a bit. They're cousins or something along those lines. And obviously, Mrs. Pleasant takes her coffee at 3 o'clock, and she takes it bitter, while Mr. Trigano he's more of soft and gentle coffee with cream type. He's never really told me about their whole feud, but it's not just between them. It's a real big McCoys and Hatfields type thing. Not really any of our concern unless someone wants to buy us a cup and talk it over.
So, all that to say, Mr. Trigano is going to be hanging around again. Mostly to keep an eye on Pleasant, but apparently, his home has been a bit turbulent since the whole "breakup." Not our breakup, but the big sad blighty breakup. You know. She's been on a bit of a post-breakup mania and Trigano wants to get away from all of that for a bit. I don't think he'll be actually coming in for coffee or whatever any time soon, but if you need him, just yell for Ciel, and I'm sure he'll come soaring in.