TBLB01
RECEIPT #001
FILED UNDER: DINER-TBLB
DATE: 11/6/95
EMPLOYEE #53
I can’t possibly be the only one who is sick and tired of all these tremors, right? Also, I’m not going crazy, either. I SWEAR there have been at least 20 or so decent-sized quakes all over L.A. in the last week alone. Yet I haven’t heard a single damn thing about them on the news. THE NEWS, PEOPLE. And what does that tell you?? If it’s not on the news, it’s because these quakes must’ve hit a certain salt mine off the Oregon coast. They’re the only ones who could actively blur something of this magnitude, pun intended.
If the Lighthouse is on top of this, then that leaves me with only one conclusion, somehow, these quakes are coffee related, and the Lighthouse doesn’t want us to know about it. And I know, I know, how does coffee cause the entire greater Los Angeles area to shake? I don’t know, caffeine or something. You fill in the Diner Speak. The point is we need to figure out what’s going on and fast. Quakes can mean a multitude of things ranging from harmless to unharmless to antiunharmless to a-antiunharmless.
Unfortunately, I am but a humble coffee peddler. I can smell the coffee when it’s brewed from a mile away, but I couldn’t tell you why the Lighthouse is brewing it. Or… how they’re brewing it, for that matter. This is a MAJOR pot of coffee to pass off to the public. I think the first step should be figuring out where exactly these quakes are coming from. Maybe #62 can do some sort of science thing for that...