TMG03
RECEIPT #003
FILED UNDER: DINER-TMG
DATE: 3/28/96
EMPLOYEE #35
Day 28 on house arrest. The only thing that has kept me entertained recently has been #53’s attempts to blur my involvement with the Cafe and get me out of here. Of course, none have worked so far, but if you throw enough darts at the wall, something has to stick. Or, my parents will get so annoyed by all these attempts that they unground me just to be done with it.
So far, he has tried:
A fake internship program that required my immediate attention. (I’m pretty sure he just reused this one.)
A fake charity event where I was invited as the guest of honor for my work spontaneously building houses in Mexico for a week.
Arriving at our door as a talent scout, claiming I was the next big star, and I had a critical audition I needed to attend.
Attempting to hypnotize my parents (he does not know how to do that).
Inventing a fake contest, which I “won” and would need to travel abroad immediately.
Posing as a fake psychic who attempted to warn my parents about the dire consequences of keeping me grounded.
Mild arson.
It’s been amusing, sure, but it hasn’t lightened my sentence at all. I’m a little concerned as he mentioned a “nuclear option,” but I trust he knows what he’s doing. He does have a GED, after all—and that’s good enough for me. What’s the worst that could happen? I get more grounded? Hell, if I went to jail, you guys could bail me out, and I’d be freer than I am now.
Just some clarification for #53: I don’t want you to frame me for a crime to send me to jail. That was a hypothetical, not a real idea.