TOS02
[BRANCH] LONG ISLAND
[SERVER] EMPLOYEE NO. 53
[DATE] 4/15/22
[INDEX ID] TOS02
[SECURITY] DINER
No. 2’s uncle is weird. I like him. He’s the exact right kind of weird if you ask me. Plus, he’s from Jersey. JERSEY! What more do I need to say? Obviously, I wanna go see this guy’s studio apartment in Jersey. It’s gotta be wacko. I know it. I KNOW IT! I wonder how many cans of half-eaten food this guy has scattered around. How many cats and rats and creatures does he have scampering around?? I wonder if he’ll let me stay with him on the weekends?? Well, I could probably make a copy of his key…
Oh, yeah, also, I’ll help look for the magic pet rock or whatever we’re doing. To be honest, I am SOOoooo tired of Archive work. Yes, as it turns out, I do indeed do work around here. Archive work. What? Do you think No. 161 runs that show? Well… I guess so. But I’ve been working on something BIGGER. Something BADDER! Something SINISTER!! Or, if you really need to know, I’ve been trying to crack more of those “Year Zero” receipts. Why? Well, let’s say there are some interesting things hidden in them that I’d love to get a peek at and then destroy and then put up a fake receipt on the Archives. Just kidding!
Haha.
Laugh.
It’s a joke.
Of course, I wouldn’t do that. If I were to do that, why would I say that I’m doing that in a receipt? Silly. You’re silly. Anyway, have you noticed how messed up the sky has been lately? Like, I get it, Sirius is crying, the moon isn’t right, the planets are out of their orbits, yadda, yadda, yadda. I’m guessing it might have something to do with our cosmic meddling, huh? Well, it’ll probably be okay. Things usually turn out okay. Hell, things always turn out okay if you pick your side at the last minute.
Haha.
Laugh.
I’m funny.