Case No. 30
CAFE & DINER FOURTH CAFE · LONG BEACH, CA · UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
DATE: 12-8-2019
EMPLOYEE NO. 44B
TOTAL: $0.59
FILE REFERENCE: FZX01
I hate to say it, but 26 is right. This is probably the only way we're going to deal with the remains of Miss. Masoch. And we really need to do it soon; I'm not sure what will happen if we just leave it to fester. So I've called in Division X-Ray and Zulu. The rest of Astoria might hate me, but I was always nice to X-Ray, and Zulu doesn't care what the rest of Astoria thinks anyway. Zulu has sent over Magogo and Solomon, and X-Ray has sent, well himself, Ray. Me and 26 will assist with the clean-up efforts. My parents have also warned me that this is one of those few things that are more than likely to kill me, so that's a cheerful text to wake up to. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Two Zulus, 26, an ex-Hotel, and Ray should be enough to deal with the area's effects. Worst case, we die. Best case, we find Julia in there. In any case, we have to clean up what we started. I am… worried about Ray, though. I mean, he is in the non-divisions, and this clean-up is a bit more… "active" than the stuff he's used to dealing with. I told him exactly what happened and what is still happening, and he seems on board. Excited even. He really does love his weird, weird job.
I asked my sister if she wanted to come, but she said, and I quote, "Ew. Hard pass. Good luck, don't die."
Caffeinated Report: C-FZX02
"maH Qap boq jupmey."
Alien Trivia | 4 Words
Caffeinated Report: C-JIM03
"Responds better to 3."
Reference | 1 Word
DATE: 12-11-2019
MANAGER NO. 6
TOTAL: $9.05
FILE REFERENCE: TCW02
Hi all, isn't it like kind of weird that I'm a Manager now? I mean, sure, I guess I'm one-third of an 8 on like a technicality, but still strange I've kept the title. Well, I guess I won't argue about it, I'll just try my best to use my unique talents to their fullest!
Speaking of, Mr. Cold has been lurking around the Cafe. He's a very strange customer indeed. His mere presence almost doubles the strength of my tea leaves. I've been doing my best to sample all the tea that I can so we can serve the best cup for those who don't like coffee, and… well, the tea is good, but it's not great.
Like, how to put this, I can tell the tea was brewed correctly, but it doesn't taste like much. Not that it's weak… maybe it's too strong? Maybe me and 44A can get together sometime and see what we can do with it. I could always… open myself up to tea suggestions from Mr. Cold. But I know that's dangerous considering he likes his tea very cold. Of course, I'm willing to risk a bit of brain freeze if it helps us find Julia. But, like, of course, whatever the other Managers think is best, I'll do.
Peace, love, and happiness <3
DATE: 12-12-2019
MANAGER NO. 1
TOTAL: $05.79
FILE REFERENCE: OSO01
Hi everyone, Manager No. 1 here. 8 or, uh, 0 and myself have been researching into something… well, something different. Something entirely "other." As you should all be aware, we typically serve customers from Ottawa. Occasionally we get a customer or two from America. Every so often on a blue moon, we get a customer from somewhere else, usually Oceaniac or above Ottawa.
Well, we've been getting flooded with reports of customers from outside of Ottawa. Not only that, they all seem to be coming from the same place. Quebec. What is Quebec? Where is Quebec? Hard to say at the moment, but the customers there all seem to speak with heavy accents. So far, we've gotten reports of many European Quebec customers and a few Asian Quebec customers. The thing is, we have gotten misidentified reports before, for example, Mr. Kansai. Everyone assumes he's from Quebec, but he's really just a fan of peddling snake oil.
We're gonna need some extra help looking into this, so if any free Managers would like to help, let us know. Also, Employees are welcome to help too, but there are some big unknowns we have to keep to just the Managers for the time being. At least until we know more.
Oh, crap, yeah, also tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Unsure if Mrs. Weekend is still around, but if last Friday the 13th was any indication, yes, Weekend is still around and still mad. So stay outside when possible. 17 and 5 will remain in the Cafe just to make sure Weekend doesn't try to order anything off our secret menu. And if we're lucky, maybe 5 can get rid of her for good.
DATE: 12-13-2019
MANAGER NO. 5 & EMPLOYEE 17
TOTAL: $0.9 & £9.9
FILE REFERENCE: IFFA01
I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Weekend until now. And it was my pleasure.
Perhaps, that two-bit terpsichorean nuisance will now think twice before visiting us again next Friday. It was fun to dance with her though, it has been a while since I've had a good dance. And I must say, I've heard of Manager No. 5's… talents, but it is something else to see them in person. If only he would apply himself more. But then again, did I ever apply myself at that age? I do wish he would just use his normal accent around us instead of that faux-cockney he puts on. But I suppose if it's working for him, what do I care? I can only imagine the demons, and worse, he is running from.
--
That was mad 6's and 7's! I didn't know the pot and pan could read an' write like that! Wow! That's that Zulu power, innit? Or, what's left of ‘is Zulu powers. Plus considerin' ‘is patron has "left the building," that is some impressive tit for tat tricks he was able to pull on old X's and O's Weekend. Speaking of the nasty bird, that's the first for a nickel and dime I've met the creep. You would've thought she'd of been tied up in Umbra rank's at some point, but I suppose she was busy helpin' out that Cra bloke or whatever. I'm still peaches on what happened with all that, ‘cause you know, I was busy savin' the bloody universe, eh!
But between me an' 17 I don't know why that miserable Weekend would even THINK about comin' round our ‘allways again. Guess she really is itchin' to hammer ‘n tack ‘er mince pie what Carpet nicked. I don't think anyone's told ‘er that it's prolly ash now. Well, I'm sure she'll piece that together eventually. Or just keep buggin' us for it ‘til we punch out ‘er tab once and for all. But… you know, I'm kinda thinkin', it could be like our own little ‘oliday, yeah? Friday-day. I'll get hammerin' ‘n tackin' to you on that.
DATE: 12-14-2019
MANAGER NO. 3
TOTAL: $9.0
FILE REFERENCE: IFFA02
To no one's surprise we had a visit from Mrs. Weekend again. At least now that we're all together she wasn't such a big deal. Manager 5 and Employee No. 17 seemed more than able to deal with her foul mouth and bad attitude. She is still demanding we give her potatoes without so many eyes. Sore spot for her. Speaking of eyes, I spy with my eye an eye for an eye is how all good thespians thrive. Best to leave it alone for now, but it might come in handy in the future.
There have been some rumors of customers from outside of Ottawa coming in. Manager 0 and 1 are investigating the claims. While they make sure everything checks out, I'm gonna help wrap up the FZX and JIM cases. If anyone wants to accompany me on OSO just let me know.
DATE: 12-15-2019
MANAGER NO. 5
TOTAL: £0.19
FILE REFERENCE: ATIW01
Seems like I've got a summons from IRIS. They want me on some sort of "special" IC Council for some bloomin' case they've got over there. To be right honest I get one of these "special" IC Council letters every other month or so and usually I just toss ‘em in the rubbish… but now this one caught my eye, choice?
They've been tryin' to work this client for the better half of the month right, but he's been counterin' all of their claims. No real surprise there, IRIS couldn't convict Friday on a Thursday, the absolute twits. But, and this is the bit that caught my interest, they purposefully spilled some coffee during the interims and guess what their client did next hearing? Spilled that same cup of coffee. Now… that is interesting. I've thumbed through my reference books and that doesn't add up to any client or customer out there… Except, it does sound an awful lot like Mrs. Lludd.
Obviously I can only skim the details to you here seein' as it is official and ongoing Indigo trial, but I think I might just take them up on this offer. I'm going to take Big Bloke, or 4, whatever he's called, and my Roufyrouf with me. 4 for the muscle and Roufyrouf because she'd be shattered to bits if I didn't take her along. I'll pass back what I can and let you know if this is tied to that OSO business, choice?
Caffeinated Report: C-TCW03
"The passwordd that you're seeking to determine,
Will fit a scheme of A then B then B then A,
If you find yourself stuck, there's no need to pray,
Just hum this hymn or sweet, sweet..."
Word Play | 1 Word