Case No. 31
CAFE & DINER FOURTH CAFE · LONG BEACH, CA · UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
DATE: 12-17-2019
MANAGER NO. 3
TOTAL: $0.39
FILE REFERENCE: OSO02
Hey all! Now that we've got Mrs. Weekend taken care of for uh… like 2 months, we can get back to the mystery of OSO. More specifically and tangibly, the reports of a customer we're going to be calling Mrs. Kay who has been causing problems at the Crater.
Our local Family sent in a report of a large customer whose personality has been described as "catty" at best. Nails have been filed to a razor's edge, and she doesn't like substitutions on her orders. Our Family isn't unfamiliar with the coffee game and has tried serving her various drinks, but all have failed to please her palette. Most interestingly, she wasn't into Green Tea or Ice Water despite obvious signs otherwise. Now here's some speculation based solely on her Facebook page, we need to block her. You know, shield our eyes from her sharp comments. That is, if this Mrs. Kay is the Mrs. Kay, we think she might be.
0 & 1 are still looking into if that could be the case, and 4 & 5 are headed across the pond to look into a similar customer. I would check this out in person, but I need to stay here to help clean up on the 24th/25th. Maybe 71 and 611 could take a short trip up there just to see if things look how we think they might look? Also, to make sure our Family is fine, of course. Although… this might be out of our league entirely.
Caffeinated Report: C-OSO03
"2010 - Every title is perfect, and is perfectly suited to abysmal ratings. Swing and miss for the Peacock."
Sitcom Trivia | 2 Words
Caffeinated Report: C-OSO04
"The Napoleo of Crime."
Musical Trivia | 1 Word
Caffeinated Report: C-ATIW02
"Added all up together on their way across the pond."
Reference | 1 Word
DATE: 12-21-2019
EMPLOYEE NO. 44A
TOTAL: $0.9
FILE REFERENCE: ATIW03
You know if this whole trial thingy takes too long I think 5 is obligated to take me to Paris for Christmas. Can you imagine how romantic that would be? I'm sure my womb-buddy would miss me though, but there's nothing stopping him from coming over here and also spending Christmas in Paris with us! Oh, no, wait yeah he's doing that icky clean up thing or whatever. Yuck. Me and 4 spent the day looking for a big brass horn for 5 because apparently that'll put an end to this case.
You know, I've never understood Ottawa-law. It's all so… unnecessarily formal and ceremonial. I guess contracts of this level require some degree of formality but it's all just a game between IRIS and Padre. Or, well, was. I don't even know who IRIS is going to trial against at this point. Although I guess Padre doesn't have to be here for his little friends to defend themselves. All I'm saying is IRIS is the least sexy of the Indigos. I've thought about this a lot, you know? I think in order of sex-appeal the Indigos are: Ozhog > Astoria > Yaksha > IRIS. If 5 wasn't so darn cute, it'd be really hard for me to overlook the fact he spent 10 years basically arguing with customers in a fancy little wig.
DATE: 12-23-2019
MANAGER NO. 4
TOTAL: $0.32
FILE REFERENCE: ATIW04
We got her, and she is indeed most likely from Quebec. We're going to be taking her back to the cafe for further study. Perhaps 17 or 1 can discover some of her secrets. We think we know who she is with about 92% confidence, so I will use this report to officially enter Mrs. Lludd into our systems. If she turns out to be from Ottawa, we can revise it later.
Mrs. Lludd is a short-tempered short-statured customer with a penchant for gossip and eavesdropping. The best way to get a word in private is to call her up on the ol' horn. Otherwise, she's bound to catch wind of your conversation. One of three, historically, and can be traced back by her last name.
Speaking of her name, she is, as mentioned, dwarfish in size. If that isn't enough to seal the deal, I believe I saw her reading the Qur'an in another spelling, and to that, I would aid her in a path towards spirituality. Take it on the 16th, 23rd, or 25th. She does have a few names, but we'll be calling her under her primary tertiary source.
That's all.
Caffeinated Report: C-OSO05
"Mrs. Lludd in Baltimore."
Research | 1 Word
Caffeinated Report: CD-FZX03
"Mask of Masoch – Class E:"
Research | CaD Knowledge | 2 Words
Caffeinated Report: CC-FZXA
"No. 62"
Name | 1 Word