Case No. 30
CAFE & DINER TESTAMENT · LAS VEGAS, NV · ALL DEBTS COME DUE
BARISTA: ALEX GÁLVEZ
CAFE: TESTAMENT
DATE: EARLY FEBRUARY
RECEIPT ID: DOA-01
Alright, gang, I've got quite a bit of news to share with you all. First and foremost, we have a new employee—the Auditor. They're gonna be watching over us FULL TIME now, I guess, perhaps in part due to our past screw-ups. But, realistically, it's not anything we've done directly; the Auditor has just been hired full-time at all the branches. How can one wet blanket be in so many places at once? Well, it must be a miracle! Or a trick. Regardless, please welcome 'em with open arms, would ya? As much as we may not see eye to eye, old Auddy actually is a dear, dear friend of mine, and I honestly expect us to get up to newer, bigger, badder, worser shenanigans with them here than without.
As for the other pressing news, Captain Jack has informed me we have a MASSIVE PRIORITY CUSTOMER in and around the Las Vegas area, a certain Ms. Doris O'Neal. A sweet old lady that we need to recruit to the Cafe and Diner cause, ASAP. It would seem that this octogenarian has developed some sort of impressive "augury skills," and she can see things clearer than anyone else can. I'll level with you all—I've been trying to connect the dots on Doris O'Neal for quite some time before she showed up in Las Vegas. I don't exactly think what she does counts as "augury," but the semantics of it don't matter. We've got a biddy to bag for Jack, right?
First we need to pin down what she's doing in Vegas and where. Then, I suppose we need to figure out some sort of recruitment that won't scare her off. I can't imagine she'd be all too receptive to a bunch of, well, gang, let's face it, lunatics telling her to drink the Kool-Aid coffee. Plus, with her "augury," she'll already know who we are and what we want from her, so… I imagine we'll need to work out some sort of trick of our own to bring her to Jack's cause, cuz if she wanted to help the Cafe and Diner out, she would've gone to Long Beach, not Las Vegas.
Caffeinated Report: C-DOA-02
"Wynn or lose, you can't just drive away with it all."
True Crime Trivia | 3 Words
Caffeinated Report: C-DOA-03
"V—ery Iconic… or, uh, Doric? No… Adollic? That can't be right."
Cartoon Trivia | 2 Words
Caffeinated Report: C-DOA-04
"100% Off: The Pursuit of Happiness[sic], Independence (to-day only), anything Made in America, really."
Philosophy Trivia | 2 Words
SPONSOR: MAMMON INFERNUS
CAFE: TESTAMENT
DATE: MID FEBRUARY
RECEIPT ID: TSL-01
I hate to be the bearer of bad news (though I do enjoy the attention it brings!). Doris O'Neal will have to take a back seat. My network of spies within the Strip has alerted me to a much more pressing issue: there is an Archon in our midst. Or, well, another Archon. But this Archon, this new and different Archon? He's a serious threat. He's a super, slippery, sordid, sinful SECRET.
Now as far as I knew, I thought Secret was majorly dead. I guess "dead" is a stretch for Archons though, huh? It… probably makes sense. Especially for an Archon so thoroughly Conceptualized as Secret. You can explode his body, tear apart his soul, and whatever else a Teal Room does, but you can't really stop a Secret from being. Now, normally I would simply cover my eyes, plug my ears, and go la, la, la, la, la when it comes to Archons lurking about. It worked really well for me in the past. It works really well for me in the present too when our own Archon is getting a bit lippy!
Though… this time may be different. See, my spies have conveyed unto me the most troubling of all news: Secret has been heard saying but one thing over and over again as he stalks about the Strip: "KILL ALEX GÁLVEZ! KILL ALEX GÁLVEZ!" Dear oh me, Alex, that is not good. Not good at all. I can't have Secret out killing my best minion—er, uh, cherished colleague and co-collaborator. So. I dunno. Kill him first? Again? You did it once, right? You can do it again, surely.
Prince of Greed, Keeper of the Mammonsoleum and the Monometallium Vault in the Pits and Depths of the Infernal Infernus Engine and the FABULOUS Luxor Cubiculum Cafe, henceforth known as the Cafe and Diner: Testament, Deep Below the Luxor Pyramid in Shining Shimmering Las Vegas:
Secretly,
Mammon.
Caffeinated Report: C-TSL-02
"Fred rings:"
Internet Trivia | 3 Words
Caffeinated Report: C-TSL-03
"Get outta here ya stupid imp!"
Comic Trivia | 1 Word
BARISTA: AUDITOR
CAFE: ALL
DATE: MID FEBRUARY
RECEIPT ID: TEST-01
As frustrating as I find the Testament crew… I must admit… It is good to be with them. Amber and Alex, that is. Once upon a far-off time, I saw them as my protégés, my successors of a sort. I no longer see them as that, though. They far surpassed my expectations of them and continue to impress and terrify me. Even here and now, as they are, I respect them as the co-owners of this Cafe as much as all the other owners, if not more. As for the others… Well… it is a certain flavor of Cafe, is it not?
Dover "Da" Demon is… Well, we have worked together before, and I find him to be… eccentric and dangerously powerful. Jethro and Lazarus Langley are, well, Langleys, all to be respected in their own right. I can't say I know Simon or Jahzeel all that well, but from what I've read, they are both rather exceptionally talented as well. Not to mention Mam himself tends to hang about much more than the other Sponsors do. Oh, yes… and there is also Melody Rose. What to make of a cold-hearted woman such as her? What indeed…?
I expect, among all my other placements at all the other Cafes and Diners, my time at Testament will no doubt be the most exciting. And what a first case we've been given! Find and recruit Doris O'Neal. I've heard of her, but we have never met. She tends to show up right as I am leaving or have already left. I believe Alex already expressed this, but her famed "augur" abilities are nothing short of fantastical… She could be an extremely dangerous customer if she ends up patronizing any of our enemies' establishments.