Case No. 0
CAFE & DINER PRE-CAFE AND DINER · OUTSIDE OF LONG BEACH, CA · ANOTHER ANGEL TO DEFECT
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: CAD01
RECEIPT DATE: X X 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
I am prone to meticulous note-keeping and journaling. However, seeing as mon amour and my trusted associate have decided to embark on this joint venture with me it only makes sense to have a system of joint note-keeping. Of course, I have informed them of our most unusual of circumstances regarding the timing of our business. Felix was easy to assure but Lucy, ah Lucy, she was of course filled with questions. I've done what I can to play ignorant to the obvious, but I am unsure how long I can keep her out of the loop. Some may think it foolish for me to air these thoughts in any form she could discover, but let's be honest, my mind is already an open book to her.
Speaking of, these receipts will need to be encrypted. The problem with more conventional means of encryption is that most of our customers can see through simple mathematical tricks. We will need to employ a system of puzzles, riddles, and logic along with more standard ciphers to ensure that most customers cannot breach our receipts without proper permission. Mon amour has already shown me what does and doesn't keep our customers out, of course, there is nothing stopping the more intrepid from working out our little puzzles.
I suppose for now while it is just us, I see no reason to establish any formal rules among partners. However, I will set one rule which both of you should find more than reasonable. To prevent certain prying eyes that are fixated on certain keywords and are utilizing errata-based meta filters under no circumstances shall you write, type, think, or speak the number. In context or out of context it doesn't matter. The usual substitutes are acceptable. Worst case I'm sure they're already reading this. Or have read this. Or will read this. I've never been too sure how it works.
One day we can look back on this and laugh. Or cry. Whatever suits the mood.
Yours eagerly again,
The number that always follows after 7
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC01
RECEIPT DATE: X 9 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
And now the fun begins. We can begin brewing the coffee, so to speak. Of course, we aren't actually going to run a real combination Cafe and Diner. The market is over-saturated, and I worry that it would distract us from our true goal—serving customers. Customers, of course, is a code word I have developed alongside mon amour. If we are to truly attempt this crazy idea, we'll need to develop quite the lexicon of codewords. Still, I doubt we can maintain the charade of a Cafe and Diner for long. The Lighthouse has eyes everywhere.
Still, I think it will be worth working to maintain the atmosphere of a Cafe and Diner. Organizations of our type tend to be a dime a dozen, yet they tend to lack a theme. And themes are fun, aren't they? It adds a nice sense of levity to what tends to be very dark and messy work. Seeing as mon amour and I met in a sleepy little diner during a sleepless summer in Long Beach, it only feels right that we should try to milk that nostalgia for all that it is worth.
So, here are some code words I've worked out so far: Coffee is an obvious one. I feel Coffee can stand in for the general work that we intend to do, but it could also mean a sort of misdirection in general. Customers, who we plan to serve, I'll go into that more later. Tourists, can be those not in on our Coffee game. Patrons, can be those who are not customers, but still interested in our business. Baltimore, my title, I feel, could also represent a sort of "truth" that coffee doesn't. Friends, in a not-so-clever twist, can be our adversaries and competitors. And Salt & Pepper can stand in for our "friends" at the Lighthouse. See? Already this "cafe speak" is proving to be quite the fun linguistic game.
Yours in Baltimore,
J.C.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC02
RECEIPT DATE: X 10 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
As mentioned yesterday, I wanted to write a bit on the topic of customers. I suppose, more pressingly, what our goal as an organization is—or at the very least, should be. In cafe speak, I would classify what we intend to do rather simply: The Cafe and Diner will serve the best coffee to its many Customers. But there's that word… "Customers." It's doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, wouldn't you agree? So, what is a customer?
I suppose to define a customer, I must go back to how this idea for an organization started. It started with the death of my parents at the hands of a notorious customer from Detroit, Miss. Cadillac. Their deaths sent me into a dizzying spiral and the deepest rabbit hole an Alice like myself could ever fall down. I wanted to, no, had to learn more about Miss. Cadillac. Where she came from and why she did what she did. And in my research, I stumbled upon mon amour, the brightest, most resplendent light in all of the Universe—Lucifer.
Yes, "Miss. Cadillac," is what is known as a demon. Its Baltimore name is the Nain Rouge, the Demon of the Strait. Lucifer, mon amour, consequently, is also a demon, though a demon of a far higher caliber, for she is a Prince of Hell. One of seven who rule over the Planes of the Otherside—a dimension parallel in time and space to our own reality where strange creatures and demons reside. Due to the nature of our reality, the Flipside, and their reality, the Otherside, occasionally creatures and demons "leak" into our world. And that is what the Cafe and Diner will seek to correct.
It will be our mission to send these errant travelers back to their proper homes in the Otherside.
Perhaps, if we can do that, we can save another set of parents down the line. If anything, we can maintain some sort of cosmic balance between the Flipside and Otherside, for there is no such thing as a failure—only half successes.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC03
RECEIPT DATE: X 11 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
I suppose the task ahead of us is easier said than done. While serving customers coffee, in theory, should be straightforward, each customer prefers a different type of coffee. The Otherside is a vast and segmented place. As mentioned in yesterday's receipt, there are seven planes of the Otherside.
Lucifer's plane, the Morningstar.
Mammon's plane, the Infernus.
Satan's plane, the Hauntaurskald.
Belphegor's plane, the Ouroboros.
Beelzebub's plane, the Esterskald.
Leviathan's plane, the Mayda.
Asmodeus' plane, the Amaymon.
Each is vastly different from the others. The Morningstar, for example, is blanketed in a blinding light while the Infernus rages with the heat of a demonic engine. The Hauntaurskald is, by all accounts, very similar to common descriptions of hell. The Ouroboros is a strange plane inhabited by near-immortal snake-like creatures. Then there is the Esterskald and Mayda, an endless forest and ocean, respectively. And lastly, the Amaymon, where most humans end up when they die.
Ah, that is another important thing, isn't it? When a person dies, they are reborn into the Otherside as a "demon." Plants and animals, too, though when they are reborn, they are referred to as "cryptids." Which of the seven planes you are reborn to has to do with something known as the Soul Accord, an agreement amongst the seven Princes of Hell to divvy up who gets which reborn soul. In the end, however, the vast majority end up in the lowest of the seven Otherside planes, the Amaymon, where they live out a rather dulcet afterlife.
But… the worst of humanity often finds themselves reborn into the dominion of Satan in the Hauntaurskald. These demons are the demons one most often thinks of. Terrifying boogeymen and creatures of the night who spend their afterlife attempting to ruin the current lives of humans. In the course of our work, I assume we will often cross paths with demons from the Hauntaurskald. While we will try to "serve them coffee" in the usual way, we might need to pay their tabs in full—kill them.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC04
RECEIPT DATE: X 12 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
Now, the next thing we will need is some sort of device to keep track of our work. I have a few designs already in mind, but I will need some parts from the Otherside. Due to the nature of how the Otherside is parallel to our own, they are far, far ahead in the "future." It is a difficult concept to really wrap your mind around, but the simplest way to think of it is like a circle or cycle. If we are at one point in the circle, the Otherside is at the opposite end. As we move further into the future, they advance further toward our past and, paradoxically, further into our future.
All that to say, the Otherside has something more than just Cryptids and Demons. It has something known as "Othertech." Technology that is so far advanced and alien to us that it can do some truly amazing things. The main component I would like to source from the Otherside is a Database Core. It's a sort of artificial intelligence. You could even think of it as a mechanical cryptid of sorts. With a Database Core, we could have our receipts stored outside of the limitations of current Flipside digital storage. Moreover, the Database Core can record encounters with have with customers with a degree of precision that would be unthinkable with today's technology.
I'll have mon amour see if she can find a Database Core in the Otherside. Unlike other Cryptids and Demons, they aren't set to a singular plane and are often in high demand. In the worst case, I imagine her brother, Mammon, probably has one in his hoard of treasures. Though, I wouldn't want to owe Mammon any favors. You'd have to be one hell of a fool to make a bargain with him. Though I have a good feeling mon amour will be able to find one in the outskirts of her plane.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC05
RECEIPT DATE: X 13 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
I've been thinking once we get our receipt system set up, we'll need a code word for the Otherside as well. While Othertech is far more secure than any technology currently found in the Flipside, we aren't the only humans to see its advantages. Most notably, our friendly neighborhood salt & pepper distributors are well-versed in Othertech. It won't take them long to catch onto our work if we are using words like "Cryptid," "Demon," and "Otherside," out in the open. Of course, using them in these private notes will be fine. But we'll need to start thinking about security and soon both from our friendly competitors and Demons themselves.
Speaking of our competitors, I suppose I should muse a bit on my apprehensions toward the Astoria 23rd Agency. It is one of the four Indigo Organizations of the world, which consequently make up what conspiracy theorists would call the "New World Order." In reality, I believe they regard themselves as the "Official Government of the Flipside." It has often struck me as dangerous that the entire Flipside is supposedly in the hands of four children. Immortal, strange, powerful, Indigo Children, but children, nonetheless.
In the North American region, we are under the watchful eye of the Lighthouse of the Astoria 23rd Agency. While the Indigos' claims to control the world government are dubious at best, the Astoria 23rd Agency has been in control of the U.S. government since 1963. Of course, they only concern themselves with supernatural affairs, but in the course of our work, we will no doubt be stepping on their toes. See, the Astoria 23rd Agency isn't all that interested in sending Cryptids and Demons back to where they belong. They would much rather exterminate, experiment, and otherwise torture them to uncover further secrets of the paranormal. And that does not sit right with me, mon amour, or my trusted associate.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC06
RECEIPT DATE: X 14 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
I think I've got it… We can refer to the Otherside as "Ottawa" and customers as being "Canadians." Clever, isn't it? The way I see it, customers are not too dissimilar to us "Americans." Sure, they might have claws, wings, horns, forked tongues, and any other number of strange features, but we are still both North Americans as we share the same cycle of life, death, and rebirth. And if we, as a Cafe, will be in the business of serving coffee, we should also have an interest in making sure our customers get home safely.
That also reminds me... I don't believe I've mentioned how we'll be getting our customers back up to Ottawa yet, have I? That is where my trusted associate comes into play. He was once a member of the Astoria 23rd Agency under Division Zulu. The Zulus are, on paper, in charge of "Cult and Esoteric Affairs," though they often dabbled in much stronger coffee than that. One of the more impressive feats of the Zulus is their use of sigils to open weak spots in the boundary lines between the Flipside and the Otherside. In this sense, if we can find these "airports," we can "book our customers safe flights home."
And, as luck would have it, airports are often rather easy to spot. They tend to develop around areas of extreme psychic distress. In layman's terms: haunted spots and locales. Anywhere that is said to be "haunted" is often a great place to open a rift between our dimensions. In fact, that is often how Cryptids and Demons end up in the Flipside in the first place. Cryptids more often than Demons, however. See, Demons often boast a higher intelligence than Cryptids and, as such, are held to higher standards of not crossing into the Flipside as they please. Cryptids, on the other hand, cannot help if they stumble between worlds. And I would much rather they make it home safe than under a Division Quebec's scalpel.
Ah! That was the other reason I thought Ottawa would be a clever code word. Division Quebec of the Agency's primary area of study is Cryptids. Being a bit tongue-in cheek never hurt anyone, did it?
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: BTC07
RECEIPT DATE: X 15 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
Yes! YES! I knew mon amour was more than up for the task. She has found a Database Core and quite possibly a perfect one. It far exceeds what I had imagined, and I believe it will more than suffice as the basis of our interconnected communications and database system. I will need some assistance from some old allies of mine to get it properly set up, but time is not an issue. Soon, if not by tomorrow, we will have a fully functioning system for cataloging customers, recording receipts, and keeping the coffee warm for our friends.
I suppose, as a test, I can upload these daily notes I've been recording to the system, though I will need a way to hide them from the public view. I, more often than not, was more in the "Cafe" than the "Diner." In doing so, they may be rather difficult to retrieve if I need them later, though I also have my physical copies. Even if they are "lost," I am hoping that the Database will, in a way, absorb their information so it can hit the ground running. It will save us immense time if the Database can already understand the meaning behind much of our Cafe Speak.
And, once we have the Database fully configured and our communication devices working, well, I have some more pressing thoughts I've been dying to write down. I haven't told mon amour or my trusted associate all that I know yet for fear of changing the unknown. Things… have been different. I have already noticed, and of course, they should be. As such, I don't fully know what to expect from this new adventure, but anything will be better than our old one. But… more on that, once I can assure myself it will remain confidential.
DINER RECEIPT
RECEIPT NUMBER: CAD02
RECEIPT DATE: X 16 19XX
MANAGER TITLE: BALTIMORE
RECEIPT NOTES:
Finally, things are set up. The largest obstacle in setting up our interconnected communications system was surprisingly not the technology but a lack of good parts. Thankfully, mon amour was able to get what we needed from her place. Never been a fan of foreign technology, but if it works it works. These devices which I am calling CaDComs, short of course for Cafe and Diner Communicators, will need to be updated in a few years but by then I am hoping my trusted associate will be able to assist in their production. To that end, I've begun helping him set up a small electronics company back east called "Barista Technologies" to aid us later in the production of vital cafe equipment.
For now, the CaDComs are capable of handling three types of Receipts: CAFE, AND, DINER. CAFE will be our secure line of communication in which we are free to speak more loosely. However, I remind both of you it is not entirely secure. It won't be long until we are on the government's radar with technology like this. So, still speak with some secrecy. DINER will act as our less secure channel. I find this will be valuable as we deal with third-party contractors and associates. Perhaps as we hire some baristas, they will mainly use this channel. Due to its lack of security, I expect all DINER communications to be fairly encoded within our own lingo. Finally, there was room for a third channel, so I went with the obvious choice and named it AND. I figure we can use it for top-secret information. It won't be cataloged like the CAFE and DINER channels so you will need specific index numbers to reach AND Receipts along with the usual password security. If for whatever reason an AND Receipt is necessary, I'm sure you could find a way to convey the index number without conveying the index number. You're both very clever.
Tomorrow is a new day,
A1HZ26
Caffeinated Report: DD-CAD00
"When I come, I come to correct."
DINER DINER | 4 Words