Hey superstars! So—uhm—yikes, Secret is pissed and getting closer and closer to the Cafe. I know, I know, we gotta do the thing with the old lady again, which, I don't even, like, get, y'know?

As for the other pressing news, Captain Jack has informed me we have a MASSIVE PRIORITY CUSTOMER in and around the Las Vegas area, a certain Ms. Doris O'Neal. A sweet old lady that we need to recruit to the Cafe and Diner cause, ASAP.

I didn't have high hopes for Testament, but this is perhaps a new low. When given what should have been a simple service, they somehow managed to bungle it up. Apologies Jack, I do hope Doris O'Neal wasn't central to any of the Core Branch's plans moving forward.