Well, it would seem that Alex must temporarily depart from Testament to deal with the big boss, who is understandably quite cross at his recent catastrophic failure. As such, Amber is now in sole control of Testament. That's the nice thing about having more than one owner, as I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be responsible for this madness myself.

I don't totally know how, uh, well, I don't know how this secret will impact all of our futures moving forward. It's big. Actually, it's pretty small—but that's not the point. We're moving into uncharted territory here, and…

Just be cool about it, okay?

Doris O'Neal.

She's elevated beyond the standard customer naming conventions and we do tend to say her name with quite a bit of hushed reverence. That is because she is… dangerous. Jack, I suppose, likes a bit of danger.

Hey superstars! So—uhm—yikes, Secret is pissed and getting closer and closer to the Cafe. I know, I know, we gotta do the thing with the old lady again, which, I don't even, like, get, y'know?

As for the other pressing news, Captain Jack has informed me we have a MASSIVE PRIORITY CUSTOMER in and around the Las Vegas area, a certain Ms. Doris O'Neal. A sweet old lady that we need to recruit to the Cafe and Diner cause, ASAP.

I didn't have high hopes for Testament, but this is perhaps a new low. When given what should have been a simple service, they somehow managed to bungle it up. Apologies Jack, I do hope Doris O'Neal wasn't central to any of the Core Branch's plans moving forward.